Lost in Paradise Read online

  “We’re lucky to have water rations for eighteen people,” Nicole said instead, handing her a new water pack.

  “Yes.”

  They climbed out of the lifeboat together just as the sun dipped below the horizon, leaving them in its purplish shadow.

  “I’m going to put more wood on the fire,” Nicole said.

  “Do you think it will keep overnight?”

  She shrugged. “I might come down and tend to it one more time before I fall asleep.”

  “I’ll help too if I wake up during the night.”

  “Worst case, I’ll start a new one tomorrow,” Nicole said. “It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”

  “You’re turning into a regular survivalist,” Fiona said with a smile, her mood softening. She stopped next to the rock where she’d done her morning meditation and yoga. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

  Nicole paused, hesitation in her eyes, but then she nodded and walked ahead alone.

  NICOLE SAT on the blanket of survival suits Fiona had made for them, watching her as she sat alone on the beach. There was a switch inside her that flipped throughout the day, transforming her from the woman who’d clung to Nicole as she came around her fingers to this other person who withdrew inside herself and fiercely needed to be alone.

  And it was okay. Nicole was happy to give her space or comfort or anything at all she could give. It was just that right now, as the sun faded away on their second night on the island, their fourth night since kidnappers boarded the Cyprus Star and turned their lives upside down, Nicole felt incredibly alone and terrified and overwhelmed.

  She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut against the urge to cry. Fiona’s leg worried her. If the infection spread, what would happen? She couldn’t lose her. Not now. Maybe not ever.

  “Pretty, isn’t it?”

  She turned, not having heard Fiona come up behind her. Nicole followed her gaze to the moon hanging silvery bright over the ocean below. “Yeah.”

  Fiona sat beside her, her fingers finding Nicole’s in the semidarkness.

  “Better?” Nicole asked, knowing her question needed no explanation.

  “Yes,” Fiona said softly. “Thanks.”

  “Do you think they’re looking for us?”

  “No,” Fiona answered. “I doubt anyone knows what’s become of us.”

  “Dammit.” Nicole blew out a breath in frustration.

  “But they’re going to find us anyway,” Fiona said. “Fishermen were out there today, and more will come tomorrow.”

  “Our families must be worried sick.” Nicole finally voiced the worry that had been eating at her. It was easy for her and Fiona to get caught up in the nightmare of their reality, but what were their families going through? “Do they think we’re being held hostage on the boat? Do they know we’re missing?”

  Fiona was silent, her eyes cast downward at her lap.

  “Who’s missing you tonight, Fi?” she asked quietly.

  “No one, most likely,” came her answer, spoken so softly, Nicole could barely make out the words.

  “That’s not possible. Someone’s missing you,” she said fiercely, wrapping an arm around Fiona’s shoulders. “I’d be missing you like crazy. Don’t you have any family?”

  “My father, but we’re not close.” Some volume had returned to her voice, but she still didn’t sound quite like herself.

  “Is it because…” She gestured between them.

  “Because I’m gay?” Fiona laughed bitterly. “No, although I don’t think he’s crazy about that either.”

  “Gay?” Nicole repeated, her mind wandering slightly off topic. “But you were meeting a man on the boat.”

  “I was,” Fiona agreed. “And I do…fuck men, that is. But if I had my preference, it would only be women.”

  “But it is your preference,” Nicole said slowly, not quite understanding.

  “It is,” Fiona said. “But I’m not much for social media or online dating, and it’s hard to meet women in the French countryside looking for casual sex. Men, as it happens, are much more readily available, and some of them are even capable of delivering decent orgasms.”

  “Fiona.” Nicole choked on a laugh. “That’s… I don’t know what to say about that.”

  “None of them do it as well as you.” Fiona gave her fingers a little squeeze.

  Nicole felt her cheeks heat. “Well, if your dad knows you’re missing at sea, I’m sure he’s worried sick, no matter what’s happened between you in the past.”

  Fiona stared at the rapidly darkening sky, her expression unreadable.

  “I’m sorry,” Nicole whispered over the lump that had grown in her throat.

  “For what?” Fiona turned to look at her, eyes glistening with the reflection of the moon.

  “For whatever happened with your family, for you thinking no one in the world would miss you, for being stood up by that man this week.” Any and all of it. She felt fiercely attached to this woman she’d known only a few days, a woman who seemed to take no attachments of her own and would probably walk away without a backward glance when and if they were rescued.

  “Don’t,” Fiona whispered, turning to press her lips against Nicole’s.

  “I can’t help it.”

  Fiona deepened the kiss, her tongue sliding into Nicole’s mouth. If she was trying to distract Nicole, it was working. She tasted like sea salt and the breath mints from Nicole’s purse, and she felt like heaven as her arms wrapped around Nicole. They’d be quite a sight if anyone passed by their island right now, limbs tangled in the moonlight as they lay atop their silvery web of thermal suits, wearing matching scraps of red fabric like modern-day loincloths.

  “There’s something I’ve been thinking about since we left those ruins this morning,” Nicole whispered into her mouth.

  “Mm?” Fiona raised her left knee—the good knee—so that it pressed into the heat between Nicole’s legs, scrambling her thoughts.

  “I want to taste you.”

  Fiona’s chest expanded as she sucked in a breath. “Oh.” She breathed deeply, her eyes locked on Nicole’s. “Yes. Please.”

  “So polite.” Nicole grinned, dropping her head to kiss her again.

  “I’m a proper English girl, what can I say?”

  Nicole had been thinking about it since this morning, but now, having just witnessed such an unexpected and emotional glimpse into Fiona’s past, she wanted more than ever to give her pleasure, to do what she could to take away her pain, to make sure she knew that at least one other person in this universe cared about her.

  Nicole cared about her an awful damn lot.

  “Lose this,” she said, tugging at the red fabric on Fiona’s body. As Fiona rose up on her elbows to unknot the fabric, Nicole untied her own, casting it aside. She sat on her knees, staring down at Fiona’s naked body, thinking she’d never seen anything so gorgeous. The jewel in her belly ring winked in the moonlight. “I need to see this more tomorrow in the daylight,” she said, twirling it beneath her fingers.

  “Gladly,” Fiona murmured, her hips shifting restlessly.

  Nicole dropped her head and kissed the jewel while one of her hands slipped between Fiona’s thighs, finding her already wet. A sigh escaped her lips, as if this simple touch brought her unspeakable pleasure.

  Why did she sleep with men if she was only attracted to women? Why did she live such a solitary life when she had so much love and passion to give?

  Nicole started at her breasts, exploring with her tongue, thrilled by the way Fiona pressed against her, nipples hardening beneath her lips. Nicole placed wet kisses down her stomach as her fingers stroked Fiona, eventually settling between her thighs. She’d thought about this moment occasionally over the years, what it would be like to give—and receive—oral sex with a woman. And now she found herself filled with a fluttery sense of anticipation.

  She gave an experimental lick, and Fiona’s flavor exploded on her tongue, sharp a
nd salty like the ocean she’d so recently bathed in. Nicole drew her tongue between her folds, and any insecurities she might have harbored about her ability to do this melted away as Fiona moaned, one hand clutched loosely in Nicole’s hair, back arched in breathless pleasure.

  Nicole settled into an easy rhythm, licking and sucking, completely entranced by the way Fiona writhed and gasped, the muscles in her thighs beginning to shake as she grew nearer to her release. Nicole shifted her position and pushed first one, then a second finger inside Fiona’s body, transferring the full attention of her mouth to her clit. She created suction with her lips as her tongue swirled, and Fiona rose up onto her elbows.

  “Fuck me,” she gasped, staring down at Nicole with eyes as dewy as the night around them.

  Nicole smiled with her eyes as she took Fiona right over the edge. She cried out as her body clamped around Nicole’s fingers, pulsing again and again as she came.

  “Jesus Christ.” Fiona collapsed on the blanket beneath her. “You’re a goddamn rock star.”

  “And you’re a flatterer.” Nicole kissed her way up Fiona’s body to her mouth, letting her taste herself on Nicole’s tongue.

  “On the contrary,” Fiona murmured, kissing her back. “I’m not prone to flattery.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  “I just really fucking like you,” Fiona whispered, and the words did funny things in Nicole’s chest, making her feel warm and full, as if she might explode from the power of them.

  “I really fucking like you too.” She snaked an arm around Fiona’s waist, giving her a squeeze. They held on to each other for a long minute as Fiona caught her breath.

  Then she propped herself up on one elbow, grinning wickedly as she rolled Nicole beneath her so their naked bodies pressed together in a tangle of wetness and heat and desire.

  “Your leg,” Nicole gasped.

  “Fuck it,” Fiona responded.

  “No. I need you in top form tomorrow, Fi. We’ve got an island to escape.”

  “Fine,” Fiona said, rolling to her back. “On your knees, then.”

  “What?” She gasped as her brain caught up to what Fiona was suggesting. “Oh, I don’t know…”

  “It’s the easiest way,” Fiona said coyly. “If you’re so concerned about my leg.”

  “Oh my God,” Nicole whispered as she got onto her hands and knees, crawling up Fiona’s body. “This is insane.”

  “Not at all,” Fiona murmured, trailing kisses down Nicole’s stomach as she got into position, and okay, she felt more than a little self-conscious about crouching over Fiona’s face, even in the dark and even knowing it was for the benefit of her wounded leg.

  And then Fiona’s tongue skimmed over her sensitive flesh, and she forgot all that, because holy shit. She settled her hips a bit lower, and Fiona gripped her thighs, holding her where she wanted her as her tongue began to work some kind of magic that had Nicole seeing stars almost immediately.

  She moaned, dropped her head, and moaned again. The rock beneath their thermal suits bit into her knees, but she barely felt it as Fiona’s tongue swirled, plunging into her body before retreating to circle her clit, and oh God…

  “I’m so close,” she gasped, sitting her hips back a little farther, all modesty forgotten as her insides twined and her heart raced and sweat slicked her body. In response, Fiona picked up the pace, putting her full effort into giving Nicole as much pleasure as possible, or at least that was how it felt.

  She could hear herself panting and gasping, her hips rolling against Fiona’s tongue, her body lit as brightly as the moon hanging silvery white over the ocean to her left. She moaned as the orgasm burst through her in hot, pulsing waves that left her shaking in its aftermath. She rolled onto the blanket beside Fiona, eyes closed, gasping as pleasure flowed through her as powerfully as the ocean’s tides.

  It’s so good. Nicole breathed past tears, her chest swelling with all kinds of warm, mushy things, feelings that ran so much deeper and stronger than she ought to be feeling for Fiona, given the circumstances.

  8

  Fiona stood naked in the moonlight, watching as Nicole poked another stick into the fire. “Be careful,” she couldn’t help saying, envisioning sparks pricking at Nicole’s exposed flesh.

  “I am,” she said over her shoulder with a smile.

  They’d spent the past hours delivering several memorable orgasms to each other, and now, exhausted yet rejuvenated, they’d come down to the beach to attend to final matters before bed. Fiona waded into the ocean to relieve herself and wash the sweat and sex from her body.

  Nicole joined her, yelping as the water touched her skin. “Aren’t you afraid something’s going to bite you?”

  “You mean, other than me?”

  “Like a shark,” Nicole said earnestly. “Or even just a crab.”

  “No,” Fiona said. “I’ll take my chances.”

  Nicole crouched down and gave herself a quick rinse. “Okay, I’m clean, and now I’m getting the fuck out of here before something eats me.”

  Laughing, Fiona followed her onto the beach. They used the remnants of her dress to dry off, and then climbed together to the top of their rock. Fiona held up the two thermal suits she’d zipped together earlier. Now that night had fallen, the ocean breeze had gone from cool to cold, and they were both shivering after their dip in the ocean.

  “Perfect,” Nicole whispered as she crawled inside.

  Fiona slipped in behind her, resting one hand comfortably on Nicole’s stomach. “Look up.”

  “What?” Nicole rolled to her back and gasped. “Oh.”

  Above them, the sky gleamed with an impossible number of stars, as if they could see all the way to the ends of the universe. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

  “It’s magical,” Nicole agreed. “In the city, it’s so bright, I’m lucky if I can see the moon some nights.”

  “I’ve always loved stargazing,” Fiona said. “I can see a lot from my house, but not like this.”

  “Is that the Milky Way?” Nicole’s voice was awestruck.

  “I think so.” Fiona stared at the twinkling band of stars overhead, so thick, she couldn’t tell one from the next.

  “What’s that?” Nicole asked. “It looks like one of the stars is…moving.”

  Fiona looked where she was pointing. “It’s a satellite.”

  “You can see them?” Nicole asked, incredulous.

  “Mm-hmm. You can see the space station too when it passes overhead. It’s quite something.”

  “That’s crazy. And really cool.”

  “It is.”

  They lay there together in silence, gazing up at the stars. “I thought you were blind without your contacts,” Nicole said finally.

  “I’m farsighted. I can see the stars, but I can’t read a book.”

  “Oh,” Nicole whispered. “I’m not used to being unplugged. I feel kind of embarrassed to admit I never took the time to do stuff like this before.”

  “It’s time worth taking,” Fiona murmured. No screen or gadget could beat the feeling of lying here beneath this blanket of stars with Nicole in her arms.

  “Remind me of this once we’re home, will you? In case I forget.”

  “You won’t forget.”

  “That day on the Cyprus Star? I spent most of it checking emails from work. That’s why my phone was almost dead by the time we got into the lifeboat.”

  “All work and no play,” Fiona chastised gently.

  “It’s true. I was just so…driven. I mean, I love my job, but now that I’m away from it, I see how it had overtaken my life.”

  “Mm.”

  “I was so busy marketing investment portfolios, I didn’t notice my husband was fucking another woman.”

  “I’m sorry,” Fiona murmured.

  “It’s okay,” Nicole said. “It really is. We hadn’t been happy together for a long time. We’re better off apart.”

  Fiona gave her a squeeze, unsure what to say. She�
�d never been in a relationship long enough to become unhappy, but she couldn’t imagine ever feeling that way about Nicole.

  “I could lie here like this with you all night,” Nicole whispered.

  “Same.” If she weren’t so exhausted, she might have too. As it was, she drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep. She woke with the sun, coming to her senses bit by bit, first aware of the steady rhythm of Nicole’s breathing, the scent of her hair, the warmth of her body. Fiona felt warm, inside and out, full in a way she hadn’t felt in longer than she could remember.

  Nicole had done this to her, slipped past her defenses and crawled inside her psyche, offering pleasure and comfort in equal measure. It was all more and less than Fiona wanted. She’d always yearned for something—or perhaps someone—to ground her, and for today, she was content to let that person be Nicole.

  When they got home—and Fiona truly believed they would get home—Nicole would go back to New York, hopefully not back to her husband, because he sounded like a dick, but she was still reeling from the divorce. She needed to get her feet under her, work out who she was and what she wanted.

  It wouldn’t be Fiona. She was just a distraction, a piece in the puzzle of Nicole’s post-divorce adventure to find herself. A rebound, wasn’t that what they called it? Nicole was exploring her sexuality, and then fate threw them into this crazy situation that had turned both of their worlds upside down.

  Eventually, they’d be right side up again. Fiona would return to her cottage in Nice. She’d paint for herself and create digital graphics to pay the bills. She needed the quiet structure of the life she’d created. Solitude was her solace. Her home was her oasis. France was her home beacon.

  Once she made it back, she absolutely would not think of Nicole or New York or the way it felt to lie here inside this sleeping bag, curled around her perfect, sleeping form. Fiona drew in a deep breath and pushed it out, cleansing herself of her melancholy.

  It was just that she hadn’t spent this much time with someone in a long time. Fiona didn’t like most people very much. She needed space. She needed the structure of her routines. Yesterday, she’d slipped away without a second thought, meditated on the beach as the sun rose, calming the chaos in her brain.