Unwritten Read online

  Silence greeted her from the other side of the door. In her haste, she’d neglected to check his window from the street, but no light was visible beneath the door.

  She waited, then knocked again. And waited.

  It was nine o’clock on a Thursday night, and Josh wasn’t home.

  Her body deflated several inches. She leaned against the wall, resting her head on the cool plaster. Where could he be? Out drinking with Gabe, probably. Hopefully.

  She stood there for several minutes, frozen with indecision. She didn’t have a backup plan. Her plan had been to show up at Josh’s doorstep, beg forgiveness, and hope for the best. Her chest ached to think she might get to say those three little words for the first time.

  But not tonight.

  Reluctantly, she trudged down the stairs and allowed Anton to take her home.

  Marv greeted her with an enthusiastic hug as she entered the lobby of her building. “Miss Katherine, it’s so good to see you.”

  “You too, Marv. How are Vicky and the kids?”

  “Great, great. Tracy’s just been accepted at NYU.” His ruddy face lit with pride.

  “That’s fantastic. Please give her my congratulations.”

  Kate rode the elevator to the eighth floor and let herself into her condo. Marv followed with her suitcases. She tipped him generously and closed the door behind her. A sigh escaped her lips as she stood in the darkened foyer.

  A faint scent of lemons lingered in the air. Despite her unanticipated arrival, Jenn had apparently managed to have the place freshened up. Kate flipped on the overhead light and walked to the fridge for a bottle of water. As she’d suspected, it was fully stocked. She grabbed water and a cup of pomegranate yogurt and walked to the windows.

  Memories hung heavy in the air.

  “I’m fairly sure I know what happened to Kate that night, but I won’t speculate about it on TV. It’s for her to say. But I can say that, as someone who knew her better than anyone, there is no way she had consensual sex with that man.”

  She sank onto the love seat and stared at the shadow of Central Park below. Here and there, the soft glow of a street lamp illuminated a glistening blanket of fresh snow.

  “It’s your mother. She died last night.”

  She’d hit rock bottom in this condo. The memories pressed over her like a heavy blanket, threatening to steal the air from her lungs. She drew in a deep breath. That was then. This was now. The lost movie was nothing like her canceled tour.

  She was in charge this time.

  The time difference left her bouncing with energy when she should have been getting ready for bed. A hot bubble bath and a glass of wine did nothing to help her wind down. Her bed felt empty and cold without Ben and Jerry warming her feet or Josh there to hold her.

  Unable to sleep, she scrolled through her Twitter feed. Since returning from North Carolina, she’d reestablished herself on social media, much to her fans’ delight. She tabbed over to her mentions, which were always overflowing, but sometimes she stumbled across a message from a fan that brightened her day or a question she could answer for someone. They all loved it when she replied or retweeted them, and it was an easy way for her to keep in touch with them.

  Tonight, though, her mentions seemed even more out of control than usual. Everyone was tagging her in some sort of viral video, which immediately got her hackles up.

  What now?

  Please, not more bad press. Dread fisted in her stomach. She ought to wait and let Jenn or Vero check it out for her first, but curiosity got the better of her. She clicked on the link, and a screenshot of Josh’s face filled her screen.

  Her hand flew to her mouth, and a jolt of electricity zapped through her stomach.

  Oh my God.

  With trembling fingers, she pressed Play.

  “I figured it was time—past time—to set the record straight,” he said, and the sound of his voice sent a bolt of longing through her so sharp that she clutched her chest. “My name is Josh Randall, and I’m Katherine Hayes’s mystery man.”

  Holy hell. What in the world was he doing? Why would he “out” himself now after going to so much trouble to keep things between them under wraps while they were dating?

  Josh stared out from the phone like he was looking right at her. “Kate, I was an idiot. It’s even better the second time around. Please call.”

  Oh yes, yes, yes, yes…

  Tears were streaming down her face, and she felt like she might float right out of bed. He’d just given her everything she needed to be sure she’d made the right decision coming back to New York, and she was so wired now, there was no way she’d ever sleep tonight. By the time dawn brightened the sky, her new plan was in place. She bundled up in her winter coat and boots and crossed the street to Central Park. She walked straight to the hollowed rock, lifted her phone, and took the photo she needed.

  Back at her condo, she showered and prepared for the day, then picked up her phone. His schedule, once as familiar as her own, was a mystery to her now that the spring semester had begun.

  She dialed the Department of Latin American and Iberian Cultures at Columbia University. Posing as one of his students in search of office hours, she learned that Josh taught until three. Armed with the information she needed, she typed out her message, attached the photo, and scheduled it for afternoon delivery. No sense giving him all day to overthink her words, or her intentions.

  Then she sat down to wait. It was going to be a long day.

  * * *

  Josh stepped into his office, closed the door behind him, and sank into his desk chair with a heavy sigh.

  It had been a long day.

  Last night, he’d gone to dinner with Lily and Herman as they enjoyed their final weeks as a family of two. They’d had a great time and stayed out way too late. But when he got home, he’d suddenly been overwhelmed by memories of Kate. He could have sworn he smelled her perfume, however crazy that was. He’d heard from Gabe, who heard from Molly, that she was in France filming some big-shot movie.

  He’d probably spent too much time with his radiantly happy sister, and it was making him wistful for what might have been. Maybe it was time to let Lily set him up on a date after all because after almost two weeks, he’d finally quit stalking his phone waiting to hear from Kate. His damn video plea had gone so viral that it seemed like everyone he’d ever met in his life had seen it. Surely Kate had as well. Her silence spoke volumes.

  At any rate, he’d spent a restless night tossing and turning, trying to block her out of his head. At four in the morning, he’d risen and taken the two notebooks—one blue and one green—from his bedside table and locked them in the drawer of his desk.

  It hadn’t helped.

  Consequently, he’d been bleary-eyed through his classes today and was seriously debating going straight home for a nap. He bent, stuffing folders into his briefcase. His cell phone chirped a message, and he turned to swipe it from the corner of the desk. The screen lit, and his heart jumped into his throat. He leaped to his feet so quickly, he bumped his head on the corner of the filing cabinet.

  “Holy shit.” He rubbed his forehead, then turned and tripped over his desk chair.

  He looked at the message again.

  At the hospital. Didn’t want to bother you during classes—this will probably take a while!

  It was from Lily. He was grinning as he dialed her number.

  “Relax. You’re not an uncle yet,” Lily said.

  “So this is it? The real deal?”

  “Yep. Glad we got one last dinner in, huh?”

  “Isn’t it early?”

  “It’s a few weeks before my due date, but I’m considered full term, so the baby should be fine.”

  “I’m on my way.” He stood, reaching for his briefcase. Should he drop it at home and change into jeans or head straight to the hospital?

  “No rush. Seriously. I could be here all night. I’ll call, or have Herman call, when things get interesting, okay?�
��

  “I’m on my way,” he repeated. “I’m finished with classes for the week. I’ll bring some papers to grade or something. I’m not missing this.”

  Lily laughed. “That’s what I figured. Okay, see you soon.”

  He hung up, filled with a burst of energy over his nephew’s impending arrival. He snapped his briefcase shut, grabbed his coat, and pulled the door open.

  His cell phone chirped again.

  More news already? He grabbed it from his pocket.

  The message was from an unknown number. He clicked on it, and a picture filled the screen. Central Park shone under a blanket of pristine snow. The view was as familiar to him as the one from his apartment window. It was their spot. Their rock. A pair of leather boots intruded at the bottom of the screen.

  His stomach lurched. He fell back into the chair, his legs as useless as two pieces of rubber.

  It couldn’t possibly be.

  Then he saw the message below.

  I need to see you. Meet me here at 4? Please. — K

  He scraped a hand over his face. His day had gone from painfully boring to full-fledged crazy in less than five minutes. Kate was here in New York? She wanted to see him? His chest burned, and sweat slicked his palms. As usual, her timing really sucked.

  Lily needed him right now. His sister. His family.

  Josh shoved the phone into his pocket. He buttoned his coat and exited his office, locking the door behind him.

  29

  Kate stood ankle deep in snow. She unfolded the heavy fleece-lined blanket she’d brought and laid it across the ground, allowing some of it to fold up against the side of the rock. After shaking the snow from her boots, she eased herself onto the blanket. From her bag, she pulled out an insulated cup from Olive’s. She leaned back and took a sip.

  It was amazingly quiet. Peaceful. Beautiful. People walked and talked on the paths behind her, but no one ventured into the clearing to sit. She had the place to herself. She took another sip of her cappuccino and glanced at her watch. Three forty-five. Plenty of time.

  Please let him come.

  She shook the thought away. No sense worrying about what she couldn’t change. She hitched the scarf up over her cheeks. It was about thirty-five degrees outside. Cold, but not unpleasant inside all the layers she wore.

  She pulled out her notebook and pen, crossed one leg over the other, and began to write.

  I love you. I need you. I want you forever.

  Our future together.

  The lyrics poured forth.

  A song grew from her ramblings, titled “Three Words.” In it, she verbalized her most intimate feelings for Josh. A light wind swirled around her, biting into her legs through the denim of her jeans. Her skin chilled. Her fingers, inside leather gloves, grew stiff.

  Her watch ticked past four fifteen and kept going.

  Josh was never late.

  The chill seeped through her. It reached her heart and cooled the embers burning there. She closed the book and looked around. She sat on a green island here on her blanket, surrounded by an ocean of white. Above her head, trees sparkled as the sun filtered through their ice-covered branches.

  Why hadn’t she ever come here in the winter before? Her gaze fell to the white expanse beyond her feet. Her eyes glazed. The cold had seeped into her core, chilling her to the bone.

  She’d wait until five. To be sure.

  Movement caught her eye, and her gaze sharpened. Josh walked toward her from the far side of the clearing, and the sight of him brought the spark sizzling back to life within her.

  He came.

  She drew her eyes up slowly, taking in worn jeans over lean hips, arms crossed over a black leather jacket. Her gaze swept up to lock on his, and her heart gave a funny little thud.

  Even at a distance, his hazel eyes scalded her with heat. Her cheeks flushed, and her throat went dry. She gathered her feet beneath her and stood.

  He crunched through the snow toward her. One step, then another, until only a few feet separated them.

  “Josh.” She stepped forward and tripped over the blanket. She’d lost feeling in her toes.

  His eyes blazed into hers. “Kate.”

  His voice fed the part of her that had starved for him since she left New York. She felt herself smiling. Tears welled in her eyes. And I haven’t even started talking yet. Holy hell. “Thanks for coming. I…I needed to see you.”

  “I’m glad. I had a few things to say too.”

  She shook her head. “No, you don’t. It’s my turn.”

  “Okay.”

  She gulped a breath, clutching the notebook tighter in her hands. “Well, first…I wanted to apologize.”

  He cocked his head. “Apologize?”

  “For the things I said that night. For everything, really.” Her fingers shook.

  Josh watched her, his eyes locked on hers with an intensity that made her knees tremble. He seemed to be waiting…for what, she wasn’t sure.

  “I think, well, sometimes I see giants when they’re really just windmills. I panicked.” Her breath crystallized in the air, giving weight to her words. “And I’m sorry.”

  He glanced away. A muscle in his cheek twitched.

  She dropped her arms to her sides. Tears swam in her eyes. She didn’t dare blink for fear they would fall. Somehow, this didn’t seem to be going the way she had planned.

  Josh stared at the snow-covered trees behind her.

  She sucked in a shaky breath. “For God’s sake, say something.”

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “Thank you?” She held in a hysterical laugh. Real life was never as well scripted as the movies.

  “For telling me.”

  “You’re welcome,” she whispered.

  Josh’s cell phone chimed. He slid it from his pocket and looked at the message he’d received. “I have somewhere I need to be.”

  Her pulse roared in her ears. “Oh.”

  “I thought that maybe…” He shook his head, his expression pained. “I can’t wait for you to decide how this is going to play out, like something from one of your movies. I thought we had something together, something special, something real. You threw it away, and then you call me out here today for what, to ease your guilty conscience?”

  “No, I—” The words seemed to stick to her tongue.

  “Then why are we here?” He turned away, staring out into the snow-covered field beyond, and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. She looked down at the notebook in her hands, picturing the words inside.

  Three words.

  Dammit, she was screwing this all up. Josh was waiting for her to ask for a second chance, to tell him that she loved him, and all she’d said was that she was sorry.

  “I didn’t call you here just to apologize.” She stepped off the blanket. Her feet sank into the snow with a groaning crunch.

  He turned his head, watching her.

  She rushed forward, the notebook clutched against her chest. Three words. It was time to say them out loud. She dropped the notebook into the snow and stepped past. This close, she could see the shadows under his eyes. The stubble on his cheek. The sadness etched into his face. She reached out and touched his arm. Even through their winter clothes, she felt the connection. The current that had always run between them at the slightest touch.

  Josh inhaled sharply, but he didn’t move.

  She swallowed. The inside of her mouth felt like sandpaper. “I love you.” The words came out barely a whisper. Her teeth began to chatter uncontrollably.

  He spun to face her, his eyes wide. “What did you say?”

  She pressed her lips together to stop the shaking and lifted her chin. “I was a fool to walk away, because I’m in love with you.”

  Say it back. Please say it back.

  The moment seemed to stretch on forever. She heard her heart pounding in her ears and felt the icy wetness of snow melting into her socks. And then his arms were around her. He pulled her against him and held
her tight, his chest heaving as if he battled tears of his own.

  She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him.

  Josh closed his lips over hers with a kiss that stole her breath and set her body on fire. For a sizzling instant, there was nothing but his mouth, hot and demanding against hers. Then he lifted his head.

  She opened her eyes.

  He was smiling, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears as he brushed a gloved finger over her cheek. “You have no idea how many times I’ve imagined you saying those words. Kate, I’m so in love with you, I can’t even see straight.”

  She pressed her face against his shoulder as her throat choked with happy tears. Her chest felt warm and tight, as if she might burst from the joy inside her. “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry for walking away like I did. I guess I have some baggage where love is concerned.”

  “You and me both. No more hiding our feelings, okay? From now on, we share everything. It was killing me all these months wondering where we stood.”

  She nodded against his jacket. “Me too, and I promise I’ll try my best.”

  “There’s something else I need to say.” He tugged at her chin, and she looked up. “What I had with Noelia was special, but Kate, you fulfill me in a way I never knew possible. I love you more than anything in the world, and I can’t imagine a future without you in it.”

  His words lodged deep in her heart. “Really?”

  “Oh yeah.” He brought his mouth to hers and kissed her until her toes curled and her heart swelled and she’d forgotten everything but the way it felt to be in his arms.

  Her hat dropped into the snow as his fingers tangled in her hair. She ran her hands over the contours of his face, reveling in the familiar smell of him that made her want with every fiber of her being.

  “I can’t believe this is happening.” She pressed her forehead against his, closing her eyes. Her heart tumbled in her chest.

  Don’t let this moment end.

  His arms tightened around her. “That makes two of us. I thought you were supposed to be living it up in sunny France right about now.”